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Being the mediocre daughter of a brilliant mother I early got the notion that I too must ride through life on the white charger. (this translate as having a Career instead of being somebody's wife; not that anyone ever asked) Eventually I climbed on to a Carousel not once but twice and got thrown off each time. This fear of falling induced me to try one last time on a lowly merry-go-round and I hung on for dear life. I tolerated my less well educated co-travelers and counted myself lucky to be plucking an increasing small ring each pay day. At some point after 10-12 years the round turned into a human grist mill like Arnie's in his first Conan movie. Only instead of getting stronger I began to get weaker. I stumbled. I dragged. I came under the eye of a sadistic whipper-in. I wared with this person and a new overseer for a long time. This year they induced me to let go by promising a safety net. Its the government owned net (SSD) that must be continually re-knotted by filling out forms. I hate forms. I sit here in the dust going no where. I sleep a lot. I wait for the time to fill out the forms again. and again.

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